Anger Management - Best ideas for anger management
Managing Anger sometimes becomes the biggest issue in the life of many people. It can result in weak relationships, insecurity, and self-doubt. It is very difficult to control anger if it became part of your habit. But you should know that it is natural to get emotional and feel angry. It can also help you when you feel hurt as it works as a signal which tells you that the situation needs a change. Anger management is a skill which everyone should learn. Otherwise constant feelings of anger can result in tension, depression, lack of sleep, high blood pressure and high risk of heart disease. Luckily, there is always a solution to every problem.
The best and topmost solution of anger management is to find out the triggers which result in anger. Otherwise, any other method will simply not going to work at all. For that purpose, keep a diary or use any software or application in your mobile or laptop. For safety reasons use secure options (I personally prefer Ms. Word document protected with password). Now, whenever you feel angry just start writing what you are feeling and why you are feeling this way. Do that exercise for a few days or weeks. Keeping a record of all your notes is essential. After one to 2 weeks when you are in a good mood, read your own writings and figure out the common reasons for anger. Sometimes the root cause can be surprisingly simple to handle, if not identified it can ruin your credibility. Many years ago when I did the same exercise, I thought my case is difficult and I have so many people to blame. To my surprise, the root cause was not complicated at all. I noticed that the common line in all my notes was “I am feeling so hungry right now”. Definitely, that was the actual trigger, so I decided to change my habit of waiting for someone to serve me. Surprisingly, with that simple change, I was able to reduce my anger 90%. Although I used to blame people and situations but I noticed that nothing can make me mad if I am feeling full.
I am not saying that only this can be the major reason. All I am saying is that, do not blame external factors and try to find out actual triggers that result in anger. Believe me, if you are strong from inside nothing can make you feel on fire.
Anger Management according to Sunnah
In case of extreme anger, drink water slowly as it is the sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad (P.B.U.H). If you are standing then you should sit down, if you are sitting then you should lie down.
Try to control your breathing, take a long deep breath. Then use any method to divert your attention. It all depends upon you which method works the most for you. Listen to Quran recitation, names of Allah, Nasheeds or try to sleep if you can. If you are not doing anything then you are allowing devils to interrupt you. Keep yourself busy in different activities. Make constructive habits of learning new skills and creating anything new. Don’t allow yourself to think negative about anyone. Just divert all your attention to your own creativity.
While living among negative people, try to prepare yourself in advance for negative situations. In case someone shouts on you, be silent even if you are in the right. Sometimes saying nothing helps the situation calm down. That doesn’t mean refuse someone on legitimate questions. Rather it means if someone is shouting and blaming, do not argue at that moment. Because in such situations even if you are in the right, no one will try to understand your logic. For clarification, you have to wait for the right moment.
Better communication and politeness can solve many problems. Just like any other skill, you need to learn how to communicate properly. Make this skill part of your goal.
Learn to avoid thoughts that trigger anger. Do not allow yourself to think negatively for hours. After any dispute or argument, change the environment. If possible change your room or start listening to something which diverts your attention and calms you down.
Another important point is to find out the underlying fear which results in anger. While reading your anger management notes, look for the actual reason or fear which makes you feel out of control.